Small Sacrifice, Grand Gesture

Moriah writes: "Should I feel obligated to attend my nanny family's events such as birthday parties and holiday gatherings, when invited?"

A: Depending on how many kids are in your charge, I'm assuming we're talking about a few parties a year. If you have traditions of your own, graciously bowing out of holiday gatherings shouldn't be a big deal. But attending a child's birthday party is an easy way to show your family you're dedicated to them. Look at these events as less of an obligation, and more of an opportunity to show your family how committed you are. Parties can also be a great setting to interact with your employers in a more casual atmosphere, which can lead to greater trust and empathy on both sides. Most importantly, to the child, you are not a paid employee. To her, you are a friend and a huge part of her daily life. Even if you don't have a cuddly relationship with your employers, showing up for the child will give everyone the warm and fuzzies.